[Dixielandjazz] Fw: Public Service Announcement...............

Rick Knittel knittelsportland at juno.com
Thu Oct 14 16:09:06 PDT 2004

Rick Knittel - JAZZBONE
37 Ship Channel Road; South Portland, Maine 04106-5136
Phone; (207)-741-2407; fax 2409; Cell: (207)-233-3480; 
E-mail; Knittelsportland at juno.com

Applying the same logic that brought us "Guns don't kill people, people
do," we conclude: 
Trombones don't play out of tune, trombone players do.  Come to think of
it, there are other similarities as well.  In the wrong hands, a trombone
can be a dangerous weapon. 
Each year thousands are people are killed, maimed or annoyed by
Trombones should be stored out of reach of children. 
There is currently legislation pending in Congress to restrict the sale
of trombones and equip them with child-safety devices.  The powerful
trombone lobby is, of course, opposed to this.  There have been various
proposals for requiring a so called "trigger lock." 
Efforts to enact a mandatory 10 day waiting period to purchase a trombone
have been heretofore been thwarted.  This would allow a period of time
for law enforcement to cross check the purchaser's name against a
national list of registered trombone offenders. 
Law enforcement officials are particularly alarmed over the increase in
crimes involving use of the "sawed-off" trombone or "sackbut." 
One response is the increased sentencing for those using a trombone while
committing a crime (use a trombone - go to jail).  This has been
especially effective when used in conjunction with the new "Three sharps,
you're out" laws passed in many states. 
The automatic and semi-automatic models are much more dangerous than the
traditional single note trombone.  The awesome destructive power of the
double trigger bass trombone could never have been imagined by the
founding fathers when they granted us the right to keep and arm bears.

Remember:  When trombones are outlawed, only outlaws will play "I'm
Sentimental Over You".  


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