[Dixielandjazz] Getting Even

[Bob Romans]

>From my friend Charlie Hull...
A musician who's spent his entire life trying to get
a record deal is feeling extremely depressed.  
He's been turned-down by every record company 
he's ever contacted.  No one seems to recognize 
his unique genius. So, he decides to top himself 
and comes up with an ingenious plan to get back at 
all the record companies who've rejected him all of his life. 

He books time at a recording studio, and instructs 
the sound engineer to record everything he says, and 
every sound he hears, and then copy it all onto 1000 CDs, 
and send a CD to every record company executive on 
the list that he hands the engineer. 

The guy walks into the vocal booth; the red light is on, 
and he begins..."This is a message for all you sycophantic, 
talentless, stupid record company ass-holes who've 
ignored me for all these years.  I've dedicated my life 
to writing beautiful, emotive, soul-searching music, and 
all you bastards do is discard my tapes, never return my 
phone calls, and sign these horrible, no-talent, ridiculous, 
dumb bands, and these filthy, dirty rappers!  

"Well, you bunch of morons, you parasites, you dumb idiots; 
I've taken all I can of your puerile, shallow industry, and it's 
you who have driven me to this!  Goodbye you stupid 
murderers of art!"  With that, he pulls out a gun, puts it to his 
head and blows his brains out.

The sound engineer glances up and says, "Okay.  That's fine.  
I've got a good level.  Wanna go for a take?"