[Dixielandjazz] Another PA system nightmare

[Elazar Brandt]

Another rant from Dr. Jazz. Kindly disregard, unless it's also against your religion to mix electricity and jazz. If this happens to
me one more time, I'm going to get a letter from my rabbi forbidding me from using electricity at gigs.

Same wedding as my other post. We arrived 1 1/2 hours before the guests. The DJ is already setting up, and has placed 3 microphones
for us. We were told we'd be playing background music, minimal vocals, and that we would not need amplification, which is my
preferred way to go anyway. I raised the boom mike at my spot up to horn level, tightened it, and watched it sink back down to my
waist, and I said to the guys, let's get these things out of here before anyone turns them on. But my guys -- young Israeli
20-somethings, who also still have trouble conceiving of music without amplification, and cannot grasp the concept that a brass band
does not need microphones -- convince me to wait and let the DJ fix us up, just in case we need them. I'm easy, so I acquiesce. But
I take a stroll around the perimeter to see what the banjo and drums sound like without the amp, and while the banjo was slightly on
the weak side, it was still easily heard all the way across the garden. I was confident my horns would fill the space, and we sing
on the street all the time, I figured the vocals would be audible, and not too loud, which is what the bride asked for anyway.

Then the fun began. No electricity at the bandstand. The outlet was dead. We set up, we warmed up, we waited. No sound check. The
banjo player trips over one of the mike cords, and once again I start ranting to get the *&%^ things off our bandstand. And once
again I let the guys calm me down. Finally we see guests starting to arrive. Our cue to start playing, so we do. THEN the
electricity goes on, so the DJ crew is all over the bandstand setting up their stuff for the wedding ceremony and party afterwards,
and we are an afterthought. The DJ puts on a CD -- WHILE WE'RE PLAYING -- and walks away, and is nowhere to be found. This time, my
banjo player gets ticked off and starts taking the mikes off the bandstand, while I'm looking for a power cord to strangle the DJ
with when he comes back.

Several minutes later the DJ comes back to do our sound check, and he can't figure out which controls on the mixing board go with
our mikes. So we have to count into the mikes and tap on them until he gets it set up, and there are of course no monitors, so we
don't get to hear what the audience is hearing. I plead with him to put the mikes out in front of us, as we are used to balancing
ourselves acoustically, and they could just pick up our natural sound and make it louder. But nooooooooooo. The mikes must be no
more than a couple millimeters from each instrument, making us 1000% dependent on him (and G-d) for balancing and mixing the sound.
And did I mention that we don't get monitors?

Somehow good music came out of this. But I'm curious. I have yet to experience an amplified gig where the sound system worked, where
the sound check was done on time before the audience arrived, where everything worked for the duration of the show, where the
audience was not assaulted with horrible feedback noises and deafening pops and crackles from plugging and unplugging bad mikes and
wires during the performance, etc., etc., etc. Has anybody else ever had a sound system actually work at a gig? 'Cause I say, play
for the people that can see you, and if they can see you, they'll be able to hear you, and let another band play for the ones who
are farther away.

My 2 shekels' worth.

Elazar
Doctor Jazz Band -- Israel's unplugged, mobile Dixieland Jazz Band
Jerusalem, Israel
<www.israel.net/ministry-of-jazz>
Tel: +972-2-679-2537