[Dixielandjazz] Re: Weird or Funny Intros

[Richard Broadie]

One of my favorite opening lines is "Our band welcomes all requests. Of
course, we never play them."  This usuallygets a big laugh.  Another is that
(in bragging manner)   "Our band knows every song ever written except for
six!   Would you belive that last night one of our really lucky customers
guessed all six of them in a row?"  (Hopefully a laugh follows)  We get lots
of requests after that line and it really is a nice ice breaker.

Then there's the Farmer Moon story:

Farmer Moon loved his cow Bessie who had been living in his barn for many
years.   One year he decided he'd do something very special for Bessie so he
gave her a solid silver bucket for her birthday.  Although very pleased, and
a bit flustered, Bessie expressed her thanks, and then said to farmer Moon :

(music) "It's not the pail , Moon That excites me - that thrills and
delights me - Oh no, It's just the nearness of you!..."

This is the kind of intros I'd like to hear  from others with other
standards.  This one was likely invented by me circa 1960 and I've been
using it ever since, usually to big laughs and mooooooooooooooans!

Dick B







----- Original Message -----
From: "Stephen Barbone" <barbonestreet at earthlink.net>
To: <dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com>
Sent: Monday, June 30, 2003 6:52 PM
Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Re: Weird or Funny Intros


> > Duck Broadie wrote:
>
> > This is a fascinating thread.  How many of you musicians use wierd or
funny
> > intros to songs?  I've got a few to contrubute but don't dare get
started at
> > this minute since I promised to take my wife out to dinner in a few
minutes.
>
> Intro to The Blues My Naughty Sweetie Gives to Me. (Night Clubs)
>
> We're going to play a song about blue people. This is the real Blues.
Back in New Orleans in the
> 20s if you got a "social disease, there was only one possible cure. A
medicine containing Mercury
> which in the necessary dosage, would give a bluish tinge to the user. So
you could always easily
> spot folks who were fooling around. The tune "The Blues My Naughty Sweetie
Gives To Me." was for
> them.
>
> Or when I introduce our guitarist who, among his other credits, toured
with Peggy Lee for a year.
>
> "She was not only a great singer, she was a wonderful composer. She wrote
a song for Sonny,
> called "Is That All There is."  BIG LAUGH
>
> Then Sonny comes up and makes a big show of correcting me. Then I say.
Oops, that was the wrong
> song, he says it was "I Got The Fever."
>
> This kind of thing takes 30 seconds, makes the audience laugh and gives
them a connection to the
> performers. It's as if we've been friends for years.
>
> We're dedicating this next tune to the bass player's first wife. "You're
Nobody's Sweetheart
> Now." And then follow it with "After You've Gone" and a funny comment
about the Bass players new
> girl friend.
>
> You can string funny sounding tunes one after the other like:
>
> Four or Five Times
> All Night Blues
> Mama's Gone Goodby
> After You've Gone
> Wild Man Blues.
>
> And make ribald comments in between.
>
> I personally believe this does more for the appreciation of the music than
a lecture like  "This
> next tune was a favorite of King Oliver who as you know was Louis
Armstrong's mentor and they
> played it often at the Lincoln Gardens in Chicago, a dance hall where Bix
and McPartland et al
> went to watch Louis and the King with Johnny Dodds and Lil Hardin etc.,
etc., etc.
>
> Me, I prefer this:  "The next tune is Dippermouth Blues. Louis Armstrong
was sometimes called
> Dippermouth. Very sexy nickname, ask Paul about it on the break."  Paul
being our black trumpet
> player, who often gets asked if he is related to Louis cause "he looks
just like him". Funny
> thing is folks will go up to him on break and ask about "Dippermouth." Far
better to educate
> those who ask, rather then force feed (read bore) the entire audience.
>
> Little stuff like that goes a LONG way, takes little time, and connects
the band to the audience.
> Especially our audience which wouldn't know King Oliver from Oliver Hardy
and wouldn't remember
> what we said about either on the band stand.
>
> They do however, remember "those stories you tell, we love them" as many a
young fan has said to
> me when seeing us perform again. "Play that song about the blue people."
>
> And I have lots of short, funny, sexy stories about jazz, jazz musicians,
New Orleans and beads
> and . . . . That plus the music equals fun, or for the mathematicians, BS
+ OKOM = F. And F
> squared = Bookings.
>
> Cheers,
> Steve Barbone
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
> Dixielandjazz mailing list
> Dixielandjazz at ml.islandnet.com
> http://ml.islandnet.com/mailman/listinfo/dixielandjazz
>