[Dixielandjazz] Computers

[David Palmquist]

It's good to see this joke come back - it went the rounds a few years back, 
but a whole new generation of computer users won't have seen it 
before.  Sort of like the Minnesota Sven and Ole jokes:

You haf yust received t'e "Minnesota Virus"!!!   As Minnesotans from Sweden 
don't haf programming experiens, dis virus werks on t'e honour 
system.   Please delete all t'e files on your hard drive, then manually 
forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.   T'anks for yer 
cooperation.

(stolen from the Official Sven and Ole site, with slight modifications)

David




  of At 07:19 22-01-03, Stephen Barbone wrote:
>WARNING OFF TOPIC
>
>There has been so much flap about computers and systems lately, I
>thought some  might be interested in this.
>
>Cheers,
>Steve
>
>At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
>computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
>with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
>$25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
>
>In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
>stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
>driving cars with the following characteristics:
>
>1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
>2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to
>buy a new car.
>
>3. Occasionally your car would die on the roadway for no reason. You
>would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the
>windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you
>could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
>
>4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause
>your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
>have to reinstall the engine.
>
>5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
>five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -- but would run on only
>five percent of the roads.
>
>6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all
>be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
>warning light.
>
>7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
>
>8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
>and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
>handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
>9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would  have to learn
>how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
>in the same manner as the old car.
>
>10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
>
>
>
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