[Dixielandjazz] This is a public service announcement.

[bert barr]

--- bert barr <uljb at yahoo.com> wrote:
> Without being disrespectful - what do any of these
> tunes have to do with dixieland? Maybe Mack The
> Knife
> would qualify but most of these songs (I'm not
> saying
> they are good or bad musically) do not or should not
> be included on this list if we are still talking
> dixieland. Am I wrong?
> 
> Bert (mouldy figge) Barr - Uptown Lowdown Jazz Band
> --- Richard Broadie <richard.broadie at gte.net> wrote:
> > A very fine jazz pianist just emailed this to me. 
> > Thought you might enjoy
> > the contents.  I look forward to your comments.
> > 
> > Dick Broadie
> > 
> > *************************************************
> > 
> > This is a public service announcement.
> > 
> > It has come to my attention that at any given gig,
> > people will request that
> > the band play certain songs. There is a depressing
> > inevitability to the
> > songs that get requested. Following is a list of
> > many of those songs, and
> > probable reasons why your request didn¹t get
> > honored.
> > 
> > "In The Mood":
> > 
> > This is the bane of every big band, as well as
> most
> > small Jazz combos and
> > wedding bands of every stripe. It's a song that
> most
> > musicians learn to play
> > at a very early stage of their career, and by the
> > time they've become
> > professionals they're already sick of the song.
> They
> > don't care what event
> > in your life you associate it with, their souls
> just
> > shrivel when they hear
> > the name.
> > 
> > Inside musician joke (if you don't understand it,
> > next time you request this
> > song, also ask to have the joke explained to you):
> > There's good news and bad
> > news. The good news is that Glenn Miller's plane
> > went down. The bad news is
> > that they saved the book.
> > 
> > "Mack The Knife":
> > 
> > If Ute Lemperer or Marlene Dietrich is singing it
> to
> > the Original Kurt Weill
> > orchestrations it's a cool song. If a wedding band
> > is playing it and trying
> > to make it swing it's just horrible. Have you ever
> > listened to the lyrics?
> > 
> > "Jump, Jive and Wail":
> > 
> > In a very short time this song has almost eclipsed
> > "In The Mood" in
> > odiousness (odiosity?). We don't care if it makes
> > you feel hip, a request
> > for this song just sucks the spirit out of a band.
> > Hey, big news, the
> > "neo-swing" craze ended a few years ago, pretty
> much
> > the moment this song
> > appeared in a commercial. Louis Jordan was cool,
> no
> > argument there. A
> > wedding band playing this song is not, and
> > furthermore they're probably not
> > happy either.
> > 
> > "Girl From Ipanema":
> > 
> > This is a lovely song, and frankly we really don't
> > mind Playing it as much
> > as some of this other dreck, but there are a ton
> of
> > other Antonio Carlos
> > Jobim songs that are more fun to play. And what
> > usually happens when we do
> > play it, some young, white yuppie idiot goes into
> > his or her 'Latin'
> > routine -- you know what I'm talking about. They
> get
> > this silly look on
> > their face and they do their idea of a samba. To
> be
> > honest, even if we're
> > not Latino it's insulting, racist and ignorant.
> > 
> > "Proud Mary":
> > 
> > Again, not a bad song. We¹re just sick to death of
> > playing it.
> > 
> > "Freebird":
> > 
> > What is it with this song? Unless you live below
> the
> > Mason-Dixon line and/or
> > the band is honest-to-God Southerners, there is no
> > earthly reason to want to
> > hear this song.
> > 
> > "Linus and Lucy":
> > 
> > Again, a charming song, but it's really not jazz,
> as
> > so many of You seem to
> > think it is. Most pianists have learned how to
> play
> > this purely out of
> > self-defense; it's just easier (and faster) to
> play
> > the damn thing than to
> > weasel out of it. Vince Guaraldi, the song's
> author,
> > is well-regarded
> > amongst jazz musicians, and one of his other
> Peanuts
> > songs: "Christmastime
> > Is Here" is one of our favorites.
> > 
> > "My Way":
> > 
> > Unless it's the Sid Vicious version, or unless you
> > and/or the Band is either
> > Italian or from New Jersey, it's just not a great
> > song.
> > 
> > "The Chicken Dance" or "The Hokey Pokey":
> > 
> > Unless you're 10 years old or live in Wisconsin
> > (cheeseheads get a special
> > dispensation), don't you think the whole idea is
> > kind of ridiculous?
> > 
> > "The Macarena":
> > 
> > Hey, it's already 2003. The stinking carcass of
> the
> > song should have been
> > cremated years ago.
> > 
> > Anything by Kenny G:
> > 
> > To ALL self-respecting jazz musicians, Kenny G is
> > the Anti-Christ.
> > 
> > 99.9% of saxophonists in America would sooner
> climb
> > into a cage filled with
> > rabid weasels (or booking agents) than play
> > "Songbird".
> > 
> > Anything by Andrew Lloyd Webber:
> > 
> > I have it on good authority that this is a true
> > story. Webber Was introduced
> > to Frank Loesser, a certified giant among American
> > theatrical composers, at
> > a party in Manhattan. He asked Loesser why people
> > seemed to have an
> > immediate dislike for his (Webber's) work, and
> > Loesser said, "It saves
> > time."
> > 
> > If you put 20 orangutangs in a hotel room with
> word
> > processors it'd take
> > them less than a day to write an A.L.W. lyric.
> > 
> > Anything by Celine Dion:
> > 
> > Well, maybe some of the female vocalists out there
> > wouldn't Mind the
> > opportunity to sho-off their chops, but they don't
> > count. Us players hate
> > the stuff. A 'C.D.' song is a locomotive whose
> > emotional throttle is jammed
> > wide open.
> > 
> > Feel free to contribute your own, or to argue.
> > 
> > Addendum:
> > 
> > No explanation needed for the following: (see
> "Proud
> 
=== message truncated ===


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