[Dixielandjazz] JAZZ

[Stephen Barbone]

For those who think of jazz as the
                                                       exclusive domain
of the intellectual,
                                                       the best approach
is to begin with the
                                                       earthy roots of
the music. Jazz was
                                                       born a polyglot
combination of
                                                       disparate
influences among the
                                                       common people,
and grew in
                                                       popularity as an
alternative music to
                                                       the hokey,
sentimental popular
                                                       songs of the
time. Jazz was the punk
                                                       of its day, a
dangerous noise from
                                                       the edges of
society. Louis Armstrong
                                                       was just as
threatening to middle
                                                       America in 1927
as Johnny Rotten
                                                       was in 1977.

                                                       While it is true
that jazz fans tend to
                                                       be smarter than
average (smarter,
                                                       and more
attractive), it is not in the best interest of the music
                                                       that it be
relegated to a strictly elitist art. Jazz, at its best, carries
                                                       the universality
of human emotion to the heart more directly than
                                                       any other music.
Coming from its greatest voices, it is the
                                                       distilled essence
of being. Jazz is probably the most human of
                                                       music, because
the rules of music bend to the artist rather than
                                                       vice versa. And,
perhaps most significantly, the right jazz has the
                                                       ability to loosen
undergarments faster than anything Barry White
                                                       ever recorded.

                                                       In summary, the
way to overcome the impression that jazz is for
                                                       highbrows rests
in five simple words: Jazz can get you laid.

                                                       A similar
impression of jazz is that it is indecipherable noise. This
                                                       idea comes mainly
from the fact that the instruments within a
                                                       jazz ensemble
don’t always behave in the expected manner. The
                                                       drums don’t
always maintain a comforting boom chick boom chick
                                                       to mark the time
in precise, even measures. The bass isn’t
                                                       content to
confine itself to the first and fifth of the scale. The
                                                       piano sometimes
plays jangling, discordant clusters of notes
                                                       rather than
soothing streams of agreeable tones. Soloists aren’t
                                                       bound to the
immediate notes of the melody, or even the
                                                       corporate notes
of the underlying chords. The comforting
                                                       sameness of
popular music is nowhere to be found, and the
                                                       tinselly
blandishments that decorate endless rows of
                                                       indistinguishable
pop stars are equally absent.


To win this sort of person over to

jazz, it is necessary to take them

inside the music. They must

understand the absolute freedom

of jazz, the dedication to individual

expression even within a group

dynamic that makes jazz

completely unique among types of

music. Introduce them to the

personalities involved, how

individual contributions came

together to create a new entity.

Illustrate the differences between

the wonderfully unique people who
                                                       created jazz and
the faceless flavors-of-the-month that populate
                                                       the landscape of
top forty music.

                                                       In summary, the
way to overcome the impression that jazz is just
                                                       random noise is
to explain the people who created, prospered,
                                                       and perpetuate
it. And on a side note, $50 says that Diana Krall
                                                       could take
Britney Spears in a fair fight.

                                                       For the absolute
newbie--that
                                                       is, someone who
has no
                                                       opinion of jazz
whatsoever—it
                                                       is only necessary
to share
                                                       your favorite
music, and your
                                                       enthusiasm, with
them. How
                                                       often have all of
us been
                                                       exposed to
something we
                                                       might not have
liked otherwise
                                                       and convinced of
its merits by
                                                       someone whose
opinion we
                                                       trust and
respect? Be careful,
                                                       however, not to
come on too
                                                       strong. The lure
of seduction
                                                       is the best path
to disarm the
                                                       sure resistance
to the unfamiliar. How do you think I got into the
                                                       überblonde’s
apartment in the first place?

                                                       My point exactly.

                                                       In summary, the
quickest way to get jazz to the heart of a newbie
                                                       is to send it
from yours.

                                                       So there you have
it, a few handy tips for overcoming
                                                       preconceived
notions of jazz and for bringing it to fresh ears. And
                                                       in the bargain, a
neat lesson in how to coast through a perfectly
                                                       passable monthly
column without an ounce of inspiration or a
                                                       single original
thought in your head. This is why I am a Genius.

                                                       Till next month,
kids, exit to your right and enjoy the rest of AAJ.