[Dixielandjazz] Concealed Weapon

[Artwoo@aol.com]

Hi Bob:

Since you will probably be checked by one of the new frisky federal employees 
who are fresh from training school and have their wands loaded with fresh 
batteries, I would recommend being more somber than if all your lotto numbers 
came up and you forgot to buy a ticket. 

I have a feeling that these new recruits would arrest a sweet grandmother 
holding her grandchild if a fingernail file was found in Grandma's purse.

And if the little child had the misfortune of having old fashioned diapers 
held together by safety pins, one can only imagine how many decades he would 
be incarcerated.

Like you, I like to make funny remarks and puns (at least I always appreciate 
my sense of humor). However, when approaching federal inspectors I become 
stone-faced and only say "Yes, sir" or "Yes, 'Ma'am." 

The key personality traits of airport security personnel are to be devoid of 
a sense of humor and to be suspicious of everyone except a bearded Iraqi 
holding a one-way ticket who sets off the metal detector. 

Musical content: If you are asked to demonstrate your prowess on your weapon 
(banjo) you are allowed to play a rousing chorus of "The Sheik of Araby." But 
don't say anything.

With solemnity,
Art Wood