[Dixielandjazz] Kill all the lawyers (Non Musical)

[Bob Romans]

Hi Pat...this is a funny story...The "Stella Awards", unfortunately, none of
these events took place...it's another "Urban Legend" story. I thought they
might be too outlandish to be true, so I looked up "Stella Awards" in the
Urban Legends Website, and they're proven too not have happened. SHUCKS!!!
Now we can still kill...never mind !! :~)
Bob Romans
Cell Block 7
Jazz Band
1617 Lakeshore Dr.,
Lodi, California, 95242
Phone.....209-368-3255
Cell...209-747-1148
Fax...209-368-3255
WebPages..click below
www.cellblockseven2002.net
>=iii=<0
-----Original Message-----
From: PLadd36932@aol.com <PLadd36932@aol.com>
To: dixielandjazz@ml.islandnet.com <dixielandjazz@ml.islandnet.com>
Date: Thursday, December 19, 2002 3:33 PM
Subject: [Dixielandjazz] Kill all the lawyers (Non Musical)


>Hi all,
>
>From the stories below I think it is juries which need killing not lawyers.
>The lawyer is just making the best case he can for his client. Iif the jury
>buys his yarn then they are the ones at fault.
>Of course it would help if the judge accepted the jury`s verdict and then
>awarded 10cents damages and the complainant paid the whole costs.
>
><< The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled
coffee
>
> on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella
>
> awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
The
>
> following are this year's candidates:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her
>
> peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
>
> inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
>
> surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was
>
> Ms. Robertson's son.
>
>
> A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
>
> when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
>
> apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
>
> was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
>
> Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just
>
> finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage
>
> door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
>
> couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
>
> garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and
> Mr.Dickson
>
> found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case
>
> of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's
>
> insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
>
> agreed to the tune of $500,000.
>
> Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
>
> expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next-door neighbor's
>
> beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
was
>
> less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
>
> little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly
> with a
>
> pellet gun.
>
> A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
>
> Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
>
> coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
>
> thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
>
>
> Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
>
> nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
>
> the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.
>
> Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid
>
> paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental
expenses.
>
>
> This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City,
>
> Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
home.
>
> On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise
>
> control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back ad
>
> make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway,
>
> crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him
>
> in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded
>
> him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their
>
> manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other
>complete
>
> morons buying their recreation vehicles.
>
>Musical content.  ` Brush up your Shakespeare`
>
>Cheers
>
>PatL
>
>
>
>  >>
>
>