[Dixielandjazz] So Ya wanna be a Bandleader and tour the BIG TIME

Sat, 31 Aug 2002 14:33:43 EDT

--part1_a7.25ece91f.2aa26607_boundary
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

Hi Folks: 

 Sorry this is so long, I wrote it to Charlie Hooks and Steve Barbone off 
list, and they though I should post it for all of you bandleaders and sidemen 
out there. so here it is.  If it bores you just hit the delete key.  This is 
definitely a tour for a chapter in my book.

Yep I have been playing music and booking bands and producing shows and 
recordings since I was a mere lad very wet behind the ears at 17 years old, 
so I like to say I am 59 going on 109 years old. 

Even this last successful tour had it's moments to make me stop and ponder 
why the Hell I keep doing this. 

Four paramedic ambulance calls in six weeks in three different countries, 
from sidemen Hell Bent on suicide on the easiest gig they have ever had.   
One guy whom I had not seen in about eight years although we have been 
buddies for thirty called me from New Orleans and asked to go along on this 
tour with us just for the fun of it, (at first) even offered to buy his own 
International airline ticket, he just wanted to get out for awhile so since 
he is a legendary musician from down there I said sure come on meet us in 
Spain. 

He did but he neglected to tell me that he now is diabetic and eighty pounds 
overweight and has asthma attacks as well.  I have dealt with this kind of 
illness many times before with other artists, but none of them insisted upon 
drinking a litter of Rum or Vodka every two days along with their problem. 

This guy drank himself into a stupor while on his insulin medication and went 
comatose on me at 5:00 a.m. not once, but twice after promising that it would 
not happen again after the first episode.  I call that suicidal and told him 
so the second time while admonishing him that if it happened again, just 
don't even try to call me, I ain't coming to save you again.  He showed up 
for the last concert loaded to the brim and I fully expected him to die while 
waiting for his train in the mid morning hours, but somehow he made it back 
to New Orleans and wrote me to thank me for the great tour. 

I will Never invite him along again legend or no legend.  Of course after 
pulling these stunts, he demanded a meeting and in his new frame of mind he 
turned his vacation trip that he begged to come on from a vacation into a 
GIG.  Now mind you he had begged to come out with us and pay for his own 
ticket, ( his wife works for an airline so he can fly almost free anywhere) 
he insisted that he did not expect or wish to be paid to come out and play 
with us. Now he decided it is too hard to just be on an all expense paid 
vacation, and he wants to get paid for the gig.   

I had planned to pay him all along anyway, because he actually replaced 
another regular member who could not go so I had him in the budget anyway.  
He just made an ugly scene and went out there to stir up shit, bitching and 
complaining to the other guys about getting paid, etc., stressing some of 
them out, and they all knew I was going to pay him anyway.  (One of those 
kind.) 

Then the sanest at least we all thought so one (The Soprano Sax player) who 
just retired from his thirty years music teaching position and freed himself 
up to travel extensively with the band went nuts for no reason whatsoever and 
grabbed his bags and horn at 6:00 a.m. took a taxi and started out looking 
for the train depot or airport in Bologna Italy. Now mind you I still have 
his pay and his return airline tickets in my briefcase, not a word from him 
to anybody in the band, just up and out, no thanks, I hate you guys, 
something is wrong, good-bye kiss my ass, just gone. Five hours later I got a 
cell phone call on the way to the next festival telling me he was still 
trying to find the airport.  Does not speak a word of Italian that guy. 

I had to hire an Italian guy to replace him for the rest of the tour, and 
when I got home this fool had the guts to call me and ask me how much money 
he has coming for the tour.  I told him to ask the judge, and to bring his 
checkbook to court with him. 

Two days later the Tuba player freaked out and took the tuba and a taxi and 
headed out for parts unknown, which caused another guy with high blood 
pressure to stress out and we though he was having a heart attack or stroke, 
since he could not move off the bed in his hotel room.  I called out the 
paramedics and they took him away to the hospital. He fortunately recovered 
and they got his blood pressure back under control and told him to take his 
medications for it and stop drinking.  He made it back in time for the 
concert that night. 

I spent the rest of the day trying to find a Tuba to rent and or an Italian 
Tuba Player to replace his dumb ass.  I found a Tuba, and switched a Bone 
player to it and hired an Italian Bone player to fill in the rest of the 
tour.  Best I could do on the spot, but it worked out fine.  One monkey don't 
ever stop my show, not even two or three monkeys, the show will go on I never 
give the money back. Ha ha. and I always deliver what I sell. 

Now mind you the stress level on this tour was no doubt immense !! 

We performed no more than a Ninety minute show every day, stayed in 4 & 5 
star Hotels ate gourmet meals in most of them, traveled by air and air 
conditioned tour buses with driver, played with the biggest names in Jazz & 
Blues at major festivals.  Were on the front pages of almost every newspaper 
in every city, seen on National television shows and the news several places. 
Everything these guys have always dreamed about doing and here they are doing 
it and can't handle the success. 

I still say a musician spend ninety percent of his life trying to find a GIG 
and the other ten percent trying to get Fired from it.  It still holds true 
at all levels of success, I saw similar action and problems backstage with 
several other major Stars bands.   The only real difference is that those 
Major Stars make enough money to fire the clown and fly another guy in to 
take his place over night.   We do make very good money but not that level 
yet, but if these clowns would ever shape up we could get there in a couple 
of years, because musically and entertainment wise we are kicking some of the 
big guys butts when we get on the same show with them. 

Why oh Why did I ever become a Band Leader/Agent/ 
Manager/Producer/Babysitter/ Doctor/ Psychiatrist/Banker, Loan Company/Pawn 
Shop?  All I wanted to do was play some good music and be an amateur 
gynecologist, tee hee. 

Cheers, 

Tom 
Saint Gabriel's Celestial Brass Band and sometimes Circus Show 

--part1_a7.25ece91f.2aa26607_boundary
Content-Type: text/html; charset="US-ASCII"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit

<HTML>Hi Folks: 
 
 Sorry this is so long, I wrote it to Charlie Hooks and Steve Barbone off list, and they though I should post it for all of you bandleaders and sidemen out there. so here it is. &nbsp;If it bores you just hit the delete key. &nbsp;This is definitely a tour for a chapter in my book.
 
 Yep I have been playing music and booking bands and producing shows and recordings since I was a mere lad very wet behind the ears at 17 years old, so I like to say I am 59 going on 109 years old. 
 
 Even this last successful tour had it's moments to make me stop and ponder why the Hell I keep doing this. 
 
 Four paramedic ambulance calls in six weeks in three different countries, from sidemen Hell Bent on suicide on the easiest gig they have ever had. &nbsp;&nbsp;One guy whom I had not seen in about eight years although we have been buddies for thirty called me from New Orleans and asked to go along on this tour with us just for the fun of it, (at first) even offered to buy his own International airline ticket, he just wanted to get out for awhile so since he is a legendary musician from down there I said sure come on meet us in Spain. 
 
 He did but he neglected to tell me that he now is diabetic and eighty pounds overweight and has asthma attacks as well. &nbsp;I have dealt with this kind of illness many times before with other artists, but none of them insisted upon drinking a litter of Rum or Vodka every two days along with their problem. 
 
 This guy drank himself into a stupor while on his insulin medication and went comatose on me at 5:00 a.m. not once, but twice after promising that it would not happen again after the first episode. &nbsp;I call that suicidal and told him so the second time while admonishing him that if it happened again, just don't even try to call me, I ain't coming to save you again. &nbsp;He showed up for the last concert loaded to the brim and I fully expected him to die while waiting for his train in the mid morning hours, but somehow he made it back to New Orleans and wrote me to thank me for the great tour. 
 
 I will Never invite him along again legend or no legend. &nbsp;Of course after pulling these stunts, he demanded a meeting and in his new frame of mind he turned his vacation trip that he begged to come on from a vacation into a GIG. &nbsp;Now mind you he had begged to come out with us and pay for his own ticket, ( his wife works for an airline so he can fly almost free anywhere) he insisted that he did not expect or wish to be paid to come out and play with us. Now he decided it is too hard to just be on an all expense paid vacation, and he wants to get paid for the gig. &nbsp;&nbsp;
 
 I had planned to pay him all along anyway, because he actually replaced another regular member who could not go so I had him in the budget anyway. &nbsp;He just made an ugly scene and went out there to stir up shit, bitching and complaining to the other guys about getting paid, etc., stressing some of them out, and they all knew I was going to pay him anyway. &nbsp;(One of those kind.) 
 
 Then the sanest at least we all thought so one (The Soprano Sax player) who just retired from his thirty years music teaching position and freed himself up to travel extensively with the band went nuts for no reason whatsoever and grabbed his bags and horn at 6:00 a.m. took a taxi and started out looking for the train depot or airport in Bologna Italy. Now mind you I still have his pay and his return airline tickets in my briefcase, not a word from him to anybody in the band, just up and out, no thanks, I hate you guys, something is wrong, good-bye kiss my ass, just gone. Five hours later I got a cell phone call on the way to the next festival telling me he was still trying to find the airport. &nbsp;Does not speak a word of Italian that guy. 
 
 I had to hire an Italian guy to replace him for the rest of the tour, and when I got home this fool had the guts to call me and ask me how much money he has coming for the tour. &nbsp;I told him to ask the judge, and to bring his checkbook to court with him. 
 
 Two days later the Tuba player freaked out and took the tuba and a taxi and headed out for parts unknown, which caused another guy with high blood pressure to stress out and we though he was having a heart attack or stroke, since he could not move off the bed in his hotel room. &nbsp;I called out the paramedics and they took him away to the hospital. He fortunately recovered and they got his blood pressure back under control and told him to take his medications for it and stop drinking. &nbsp;He made it back in time for the concert that night. 
 
 I spent the rest of the day trying to find a Tuba to rent and or an Italian Tuba Player to replace his dumb ass. &nbsp;I found a Tuba, and switched a Bone player to it and hired an Italian Bone player to fill in the rest of the tour. &nbsp;Best I could do on the spot, but it worked out fine. &nbsp;One monkey don't ever stop my show, not even two or three monkeys, the show will go on I never give the money back. Ha ha. and I always deliver what I sell. 
 
 Now mind you the stress level on this tour was no doubt immense !! 
 
 We performed no more than a Ninety minute show every day, stayed in 4 &amp; 5 star Hotels ate gourmet meals in most of them, traveled by air and air conditioned tour buses with driver, played with the biggest names in Jazz &amp; Blues at major festivals. &nbsp;Were on the front pages of almost every newspaper in every city, seen on National television shows and the news several places. Everything these guys have always dreamed about doing and here they are doing it and can't handle the success. 
 
 I still say a musician spend ninety percent of his life trying to find a GIG and the other ten percent trying to get Fired from it. &nbsp;It still holds true at all levels of success, I saw similar action and problems backstage with several other major Stars bands. &nbsp;&nbsp;The only real difference is that those Major Stars make enough money to fire the clown and fly another guy in to take his place over night. &nbsp;&nbsp;We do make very good money but not that level yet, but if these clowns would ever shape up we could get there in a couple of years, because musically and entertainment wise we are kicking some of the big guys butts when we get on the same show with them. 
 
 Why oh Why did I ever become a Band Leader/Agent/ Manager/Producer/Babysitter/ Doctor/ Psychiatrist/Banker, Loan Company/Pawn Shop? &nbsp;All I wanted to do was play some good music and be an amateur gynecologist, tee hee. 
 
 Cheers, 
 
 Tom 
 Saint Gabriel's Celestial Brass Band and sometimes Circus Show </HTML>

--part1_a7.25ece91f.2aa26607_boundary--